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Why It May Not Be Wise to Move for Love

Some singles looking to pair up are taking drastic measures to boost their romantic odds and their self-esteem: moving to another state.

According to a story titled ?€?I Left New York City So I Could Feel Hotter,?€? published by the New York Post, young single women (and some men) are fleeing Manhattan?€?s impossible physical standards to seek refuge in other U.S. states and abroad where the beauty barometer is set lower. ?€?As a woman, you?€?re never enough,?€? Zoe Barry, a CEO and former New Yorker who moved to Colorado, told the Post. ?€?I was never tall enough or slim enough. It grates on you after a while ?€‘± that pressure to be a walking mannequin.?€?

After relocating, ?€?all of a sudden I was the belle of the ball,?€? said??Barry. ?€?In Colorado, it was like, ?€?Look at her!?€? In New York, I couldn?€?t find a nice guy anywhere.?€?

Likewise, publicist Sherry Smith settled in Paris and immediately experienced a change in how people viewed her. ?€?In New York, I felt average, like a 6,?€? she told the Post. ?€?In Paris, I felt like an 8 or a 9. I was regarded very differently and got more attention, even though it was the same me.?€?

Sure, it?€?s not exactly realistic for everyone to move, leaving behind loved ones, jobs, and other forces that keep one bound to a particular location, but there?€?s evidence to support prioritizing romance. Studies have pointed to love, not work, as the most important factor in a person?€?s happiness, even when income is doubled. Other research shows that married people are healthier and, in some cases, happier than singles.

However, according to Gail Saltz, MD, a psychiatrist and the author of??The Power of Different, moving solely to sample from a new dating pool carries some risk.

?€?If a person has difficulty finding a partner, they will likely have that same problem no matter the city,?€? Saltz tells Yahoo Style. ?€?In most cases, it?€?s better to examine other factors, such as a fear of intimacy, an inability to compromise, or unrealistic expectations, that might be holding them back.?€?

Moving can also be impractical: If your new town doesn?€?t fulfill its potential, do you pack up again?

And while Saltz maintains that committed couples often relocate in the interest of theirrelationship, single people grapple with a unique cost-benefit analysis: If you live in the capital of your career, will you be compromising your future for a person you haven?€?t yet met?

Ultimately, the idea of a soulmate waiting for you in a far-flung city sounds dreamy, but staying put may be more fruitful. ?€?People have the potential to find love with more than one person if they?€?re willing to examine how they?€?re undermining their own romantic success,?€? says Saltz. ?€?The idea of nobody being attracted to you in a city of millions is absurd.?€?

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